


perfect (illusion)

by Markhyuckisrealaf



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Two Endings, warning: there is a car accident that mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-22 17:38:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12487216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Markhyuckisrealaf/pseuds/Markhyuckisrealaf
Summary: Mark and donghyuck were so in love with each other and they were showing it by giving each other small notes and it was perfect. Their love was perfect. Everything was perfect…or was it ?There will be a twist at the end and it has two different endings, a happy one and a sad one, I will post the happy one first so people who don’t want to read the sad one won’t read it and won’t get sad ^-^





	1. perfect

"A love so deep, nothing else like it  
Scars go deep, but they can't find it  
Flame so bright make the daylight look dark"

Mark smiled after reading the words written on the small paper and turned around to look at his boyfriend who was sitting a few desks back. he made a small heart with his fingers and chuckled silently at the red haired’s cute blushing face before turning back and ripping a piece of paper from his own notebook just to write down the continues lyrics of the song.

"Cross my heart, that I'll die for you  
Cross my heart, that I'll always keep you  
Cross my heart like a bitter sweet tattoo"

He folded the paper and poked his friend to pass the note to the back. jaemin rolled his eyes but took the paper anyway and passed it to renjun who passed it to jisung who passed it to koeun who finally passed it to donghyuck.

Mark watched his boyfriend’s sweet smile while reading the paper then sent a flirty wink at him when he looked up, which made the red haired one get all blushy and giggly but he still blew a kiss back at him.

“You two make me want to puke all over this table” jaemin mumbled before laying his face on the table, about to fall asleep in the boring math class.

Mark just chuckled silently again and hit on jaemin’s head jokingly “oh shut up you love us”

“Unfortunately I do” jaemin said quietly but mark still heard it. And weirdly donghyuck heard it too even though he was sitting three desks behind him.

He just thought jaemin talked too loudly or maybe his hearing ability got stronger who knows? He didn’t think about it a lot even though it was something weird to happen. Cause hey, weird things happen all the time don’t they? It wasn’t something new anyway…

______________________________________________________________________________________

“So here's my body that I'm giving to us  
Here's my arms that'll hold us up  
Here's my life dedicated to love  
I'll try to give you everything you deserve”

It was funny how donghyuck could hear the song playing in his mind while he was reading the small paper that mark put in his backpack’s zippered part secretly this morning. But on the other hand he was hearing songs playing in the middle of the night too so it wasn’t something new. It was like, god was playing their, his and mark’s, favorite songs in heaven and making it loud so donghyuck could hear it too. He knew it was stupid to think about it like that. Maybe one of their neighbors liked the same songs they loved and they were playing it a little bit too loud at three or four am. Or maybe he loved those songs so much that he was hearing them even though no one was playing them. Either way he loved the idea of someone up in there is playing songs for him more than the reality.

“And I can't promise that it's gonna be fine  
But here I am if you're ready to try  
Here's my tears when you tell me those words  
Here's my life, for better or worse”

He wrote back the continues lyrics to another paper, sneaked into the empty hallway, opened mark’s locker that its password was the date they first met and placed the paper at the top of his chemistry book. Then he smiled when he thought about the sweet smile that will be on mark’s face when he reads his note and walked towards the main door of the school. Right when he opened the door to get out the rain started with small drops and he smiled knowingly before taking out his small umbrella from his backpack. He never had been good at guessing the weather till now but something inside him told him to take his umbrella with him today and he was glad that he listened to that something. He opened his umbrella and started walking out of the school gates when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Donghyuck”

“Mark?”

Mark was already wet from head to toe and he was panting hard which made donghyuck pull him under the umbrella and glare at him with a pout.

“Why did you run under rain? You will get sick again.”

“I know I’m sorry but you forgot something. You can’t go home without that.”

Donghyuck looked at him with a confused face cause he was sure he didn’t forget anything “I did? What did I forget?”

“This” mark said before pulling donghyuck into a kiss by his wrist. He buried his free hand in mark’s hair and kissed him back. Mark pulled him closer by the waist and donghyuck could feel the wet shirt that was pressing on his own was wetting his chest too but he didn’t care about it at all. He wouldn’t even care if he didn’t had any umbrella and they were kissing under the rain while getting completely wet. He didn’t care about anything else than the sweet kiss they were sharing.

“You can’t go to home without our goodbye kiss right?” mark said against his lips when they broke it slowly.

“Right” donghyuck said and they just stood there, under the umbrella, listening the raindrops hitting to the floor, a stupid, lovesick smile on both of their lips, eyes shining with the excitement of the young love.

“You gotta go to your class” donghyuck said and felt the soft lips again, caressing his own lips gently.

“I know. But I don’t want to be separated from you.”

Donghyuck giggled sweetly and caressed the back of mark’s neck “stop making me fall for you harder and just go. We will see each other tomorrow anyway.”

“What if we don’t? What if we can’t?”

Mark’s question made him stop for a few seconds. Cause why would he even ask something like that when everything is going so perfect? It confused and worried donghyuck. But he shook his head and smiled at the worried boy in front of him.

“We will see each other again. I promise you okay?”

Mark sighed but nodded and pecked his lips one last time.

“I love you”

“I love you too”

Donghyuck watched mark running back to school and entering the door then turned around and walked to his home. Mind is full with so many thoughts. What did mark mean by that?

_____________________________________________________________________________

"You're here like a silhouette  
When the darkness rules  
You're the brightest moon  
And I am safe"

In all honestly, donghyuck hated the long-distance relationship. He hated how mark went back to Canada for university. He hated how they write their cute little notes on a private chatroom in kakaotalk not on small papers anymore. He hated how he couldn’t wake up to mark’s face, he hated how they couldn’t hug and cuddle and kiss anymore. He was missing mark so much that he was crying almost everynight after their daily Skype session. He was missing his warm hug, he was missing his soft kiss, he was missing his gentle touch, he was missing everything and anything about him, of him…

Somehow, he knew mark was missing him back as much as he did or maybe even more. He knew mark was having sleepless nights too. He knew mark had some horrible nightmares too. He knew mark just wanted to fly over there and pull him into the tightest hug ever too. He could even hear the “I miss you so much hyuckkie. I miss you so much…”s and the sobs that left his lover’s lips and it was breaking his heart into pieces. Knowing that mark was in pain too was the worst feeling he ever had. He knew he should do something to make mark feel better, he should lighten up the heavy pain in his heart so he wrote the continues lyrics that fit incredibly well with the situation they were in and what he exactly felt for mark.

"You're never far from where I am  
Like a lighthouse, bring me home  
You're never far from me  
Let your spirit glow"

____________________________________________________________________________________

Donghyuck had been crying over the note mark sent him for thirty minutes now and he was pretty sure the blonde one was crying too.

"One day the earth will open wide  
And I'll follow you inside  
Cause the only hell I know is without you"

It was so ironic actually that mark sent this to him cause they had a very big fight just a few hours ago that left donghyuck crying in his bed while mark was left kicking everything he could find in his room and wetting his cheeks with tears. 

“We should break up” wrote donghyuck even though it broke his heart. he knew it was going to break mark’s heart too but he did it anyway and waited for the answer for a few minutes before he got a Skype call from his boyfriend who asked “w-why you want to break up?” with a shaky voice when he answered the call. “Donghyuck please…did I do something wrong? I would do anything to fix it. Please donghyuck. Please don’t leave me. You know I can’t live without you.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong. You would never do anything wrong mark. You would never hurt me.” donghyuck said with a bitter smile, “I am the one who hurts the other one in this relationship.”

“Don’t say that! Why would you say that?? You-”

“Your grades are so low right?”

“How do you kn-”

“You can’t focus on your classes cause of me. And I don’t want that. I don’t want to ruin your grades. I don’t want to ruin your life mark. As long as we are together, I will keep ruining your life. Maybe we should break up. Maybe you should find a good girlfriend who would be a better lover than me.”

Donghyuck was sincere at his words. He always felt like a burden towards mark cause mark had always been “that” boy that was the role model for everything, the boy all teachers and all parents love, the boy who has the best grades in school all the time, the boy who could play more than five musical instruments while also singing and rapping in three different languages and donghyuck was just donghyuck, the funny boy who makes people laugh, who is the one people go to when they are down, the boy who is mostly left in the background while even spotlights themselves loved mark. “That’s not true!” mark said once when donghyuck finally confessed these feeling of him to him. “you don’t know how amazing you are donghyuck. You don’t know how perfect you are. Do you know how many people love you? Do you know how many people you make happy? Screw getting the best grades in school and screw being good at getting the spotlight, your angelic voice is the one who could bless anyone’s soul not mine. I would give up on all those things you said about me just to see you smile. Cause you are a blessing donghyuck and nothing in this world can compare to how precious you are.”

“Why are you crying if you want to break up?”

Donghyuck only then realized the tears were flowing down his cheeks slowly. He wiped them immediately and said “I-I don’t know.”

“Donghyuck tell me the truth is there…is there someone else? Do you like someone else now?”

“What you are talking about of course no-”

“Be honest with me hyuck please.”

“There is no one else than you that I love mark. How can you even ask something like that?! How can you think I would cheat on you?!”

“I don’t know donghyuck maybe cause you just said you want to break up with me!”

“I said that cause I don’t want to ruin your life anymore!”

“But you don’t ruin my life at all!”

They were just yelling each other now, not even listening that their hearts were screaming “no! stop! You are doing the wrong thing! You are breaking both of your hearts! Stop being stupid and apologize! Now!”, not even caring if they wake up their neighbors at two am.

“I do! I know I do fucking ruin your life OKAY?!”

Mark took a deep breath in anger and looked at donghyuck’s eyes that were full of tears again, “you want to break up so bad right? Lets break up then. But don’t you dare to tell me you love me so much again cause it’s crystal clear that you don’t love me at all if you can let go of me that easily”

“Mark no wait-”

Mark ended the call, not even giving a chance to donghyuck to talk. But donghyuck knew he didn’t mean any of the words he said. He knew mark would never stop loving him. He knew he was just lying. He knew he started crying too right after he ended the call. He knew mark better than he knew himself and that’s why he started crying even harder when mark sent that message a few hours later. He knew how mark hated himself for saying those words. He knew he was probably pulling his own hair and mumbling “you fucking idiot you broke his heart. You broke the love of your life’s heart. Fucking idiot.”. He knew how mark wanted to call him so badly and apologize till his voice can’t come out anymore. He knew all of this but the only he didn’t know was why he could feel a pair of hands wiping away his tears gently. Maybe mark loved him so much that donghyuck could literally feel it on his skin…

"I don't know what to say  
But I'm going to want you till the stars evaporate"

Donghyuck hit the send button and his phone started ringing in a few seconds.

“Donghyuck I’m so so so so so so so so fucking sorry. I’m so sorry I didn’t mean any of these. I would never mean any of those. I’m so sorry. I just love you so much even the thought of you leaving me kills me. That’s why I got so mad. I thought you will leave me. I’m so sorry baby I’m so so so sorry. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness but-”

“I’m sorry too” donghyuck sobbed out and they sobbed together, crying together while they could feel their hearts were getting tighten in a feeling they didn’t know what to call.

“y-you won’t leave me…right?” mark asked when they both calmed down, tears were still there but they weren’t sobbing their hearts out anymore.

“You know I won’t.” donghyuck said in a small but soft tone “I can’t even if I want to.”

He could hear mark’s sighing in relief.

“Donghyuck”

“Hmm?” he was too tired to even say a word.

“I love you so much”

But maybe he was not that tired 

“I love you so much too”

____________________________________________________________________________________

They had their ups and downs in their relationship and some really downs like the time they got that big fight three years ago or some really ups like today that mark was coming back to home after four years. but it was okay, they were okay, even more than okay maybe cause donghyuck jumped on mark when he smiled and waved at him at the door of the airport and mark held him tightly while burying his face on his neck, breathing in his heavenly scent that he missed so much.

“I missed you so much” he breathed out to his neck while donghyuck was pecking kisses all over mark’s own neck. Then he pushed him a bit, gently just to cup his face and peck kisses all over his face too. Mark caught his lips with own while he was pecking a kiss at the corner of his lips and they kissed under the rain, this time without an umbrella.

“m-mark” donghyuck whispered against his lips while mark was drawing circles on his waist.

“Hmm?”

Donghyuck took out a paper from his pocket and gave it to mark which made mark’s eyes get teary than it already was.

"I will bring you the mountains  
Write your name 'cross the sky  
Anything that you need I will try to find"

Mark smiled at him sweetly after reading the note, took out another note from his own pocket, and put it in donghyuck’s hand after pecking his cheek.

"If the stars burn out and no longer shine  
I'll still search for heaven right in your eyes"

And they kissed again, getting wet both cause of the rain and cause of their tears, hands holding each other tightly while all of the emotions they kept in till now bursting out of their hearts to each other’s skin. And donghyuck could swear he heard mark saying “I love you so much” but their lips were still attached to each other so there was no possible way for that so he just didn’t mind about it and pulled mark closer, deepening the kiss.

________________________________________________________________________________________

“Every time that you're near  
All my cares disappear  
Darling, you're all that I'm living for  
I want you, I need you, I love you  
More and more”

Mark sang while they were watching the stars, donghyuck was lying on his chest and his hands were in his soft, fluffy hair, fingers caressing it gently at the rhythm of the song.

"Won't you please be my own?  
Never leave me alone  
Cause I die every time we're apart  
I want you, I need you, I love you  
With all my heart"

Donghyuck sang back, drawing a heart on mark’s chest where his real heart should be in with his small hands. Mark smiled and kissed his head lovingly.

“You voice still kills me every time you sing” 

“Then I should stop singing cause I don’t wanna be apart from you”

Mark knew he was just joking but he still pulled him closer and said “no. continue. Please continue.”

And he did. he started singing another song this time but he did continue. Cause he knew he was mark’s oxygen to breathe like how he was his.

"I mention you when I say my prayers  
I wrap you around all of my thoughts  
you're my temporary high  
I wish that when I wake up you're there"

He stopped after this part and looked up at mark who was smiling at him lovingly.

“Mark, you will be there when I wake up tomorrow right?”

It was weird how he could feel his soft touch on his face when his fingers were actually intertwined with his own ones when he said, “of course I will be here baby. I will never leave you.” Then he kept singing when he felt donghyuck was drifting to the dreamland after his relieving answer.

"Tattoo your name across my heart  
So it will remain  
Not even death can make us part"

________________________________________________________________________________________

When he opened his eyes all he could see was a blindingly white fluorescent lamp on the ceiling and a weird smell that reminded him hospitals.

“Let’s do your daily check hyuckkie” 

He heard a sweet voice of a woman but his vision was so blurry to see who it was.

“Okay so the-OH MY GOD YOU ARE AWAKE!!!”

Why there was a nurse beside him? And why she was freaking out? Where was-oh….he was in a hospital. Why he was in a hospital???


	2. so perfect

Donghyuck tried to say something but his throat was too dry to talk. He guessed the nurse, who he could see clearly now, understood it cause she poured some water in a glass and gave it to him hurriedly.

“How are you feeling? Do you remember anything? Holy shit I can’t believe you woke up! I gotta tell him!”

“Mark” he could only choke out but she got what he said anyway.

“Yes! mark! He had been waiting for you to wake up for so long! Oh dear god he cried every time he came here and he came here every day so he cried every single day. And he brang a rose for you every single day too cause he said red roses are your favorite flowers. He also played some songs for you every day, he said those are your favorite songs and “our favorite songs” is written on the CD. How sweet is that??? He loves you so much it made me cry once to be honest when he-”

The nurse was very sweet and all but donghyuck was kinda(really) getting tired of listening her, he just wanted to know where mark was.

“Where is ma-”

“D-donghyuck?”

He turned his head to where the familiar voice just came from and saw mark who was standing in front of the door, looking at him with wide eyes, hand holding tightly to one single rose in it.

“Mark?”

Donghyuck had never seen mark like that before in his entire life. There were dark circles under his eyes as if he didn’t sleep for days, he had lost so much weight and he looked like he didn’t smile for weeks maybe months.

“Donghyuck…”

Mark walked towards him slowly as if he walked a bit faster he would ruin everything then stopped in front of donghyuck and caressed his cheeks tenderly.

“Donghyuck” he sobbed out before leaning down to hug him. His tears were wetting the fabric of his patient dress and the sensitive skin of his neck, his hands were holding him so tightly and donghyuck was so confused but he still hugged back, hands wandering in his lover’s soft hair.

“Mark what’s going on? I don’t understand.”

“I missed you so much. Oh god I missed you so much.” Mark said, leaning back just to look at his face with his teary eyes, which made him cry even more, because he really really missed donghyuck so much…

“But we were together just last night. And why am I even here? Something happened?”

Mark looked at him with worried eyes, fearing from scaring him off and said “Donghyuck, baby…you were in coma for two years.” softly before sitting down on the bed and pulling him into his warm embrace to give him comfort and the feeling of safety.

“What? But…how? I….we were together all the time when did that even-”

Mark gave the nurse a worried look which donghyuck knew that meant, “What is going on?” but he didn’t knew it also meant “did he lose his memory? Is this why he doesn’t remember?”

She just chuckled at his worried face and shook her head knowingly.

“Sometimes when a patient go into coma they choose a part of their life to remember, they do that without knowing or realizing they do. and they keep living that part of their life, all the things that happened in that part, again and again until…until either they wake up…or they die…I’m guessing he chose the part of his life that had you in it and he kept living all of your memories together again and again till he, thank god, woke up.”

“Wait I was really in coma for two years? It is not a joke? I thought…I thought you were just joking…” donghyuck said with a deer caught in headlights like expression on his face, fingers playing with each other in stress.

“I wish it was just a joke” mark said and he sounded so broken, so…weak before he lied next to donghyuck to hug him better, face on his neck again.

The nurse just looked at the sweet couple who got together again finally, left the room to give them some alone time and closed the door behind her quietly.

“You must’ve missed me so much…” donghyuck said, feeling bad for making mark sad even though it wasn’t his fault actually.

“I couldn’t breathe without you hyuck. I couldn’t breathe…”

Donghyuck caressed his hair softly while mark’s tears was wetting his skin again.

“I’m sorry…”

“Why are you saying sorry?”

“Cause it…felt so real. I felt like I was really living those moments for the first time. Never even once I felt anything was off. Everything seemed so perfect. And I kept making you wait for me to wake up for so long. Hadn’t I?”

“At least you didn’t miss me, right? That is good that your dreams felt so real cause if you were in pain that would kill me more.” mark said and donghyuck chuckled sweetly cause oh dear god just how good mark was for him.

“A part of me still missed you. I don’t know how but it did know, on the inside, secretly, that the biggest part of my heart was aching somewhere out there.”

“How does that part feel now?” mark asked and looked up at him with his eyes full of love and care.

“It never felt that good and peaceful” donghyuck said and cupped mark’s face, caressing his cheeks softly “mark”

“Hmm?”

Oh, Deja Vu…

“I love you so much”

Mark started crying again but it was okay cause donghyuck was already crying too.

“I love you so much too”

Their lips met after a few sobs, mark pulled him closer and pecked all over his face even his palms so gently, so tenderly, so lovingly and donghyuck thanked god once again for letting one of his angels to be his boyfriend and bless his life with his existence…

______________________________________________________________________________________

“Donghyuck. Psst donghyuck”

Donghyuck turned around to make a “hush” move with his finger in front of his lips to mark when he remembered that mark wasn’t taking that class. So…how the hell he could call donghyuck’s name? Oh no. oh no no no was he in coma again? Shit! Shit! Shit! Fuck! Not again. Hadn’t he woke up already a few months ago? Then why the-”

“Baby!”

Donghyuck looked out of the open window beside him and oh god, was that mark on the tree beside the window, whisper shouting at him? Oh god, it really was mark on top of that god damn tree, talking to him like the little idiot he is.

“What the hell are you doing? You’re gonna fall down! Get down!”

Mark just smiled at him sweetly and shook his head “no. not before I show you my surprise.”

Donghyuck checked the teacher who was looking at something on his laptop and looked at mark again, “what surprise? Mark please go down I’m so worried for you ple-”

“Shhh” mark said and pointed at the white projection curtain “just watch please”

He was about to ask mark “what is it about?” but suddenly a video started playing and donghyuck forgot how to breathe for a second when mark’s smiling face appeared suddenly and covered the whole curtain.

“hi hyuckkie” mark said and smiled wider “or should I say the most beautiful masterpiece made by god, the most blessed angel that sent from heaven to earth as a blessing to us, the sun himself and the love of my life?”

Donghyuck could feel his cheeks were getting more and more warmer in every second cause god damn it, mark made a romantic as fluff surprise again and the whole class was watching the same video right at the moment and he just couldn’t stop blushing at his boyfriend’s cheesy words.

“There is a little note I placed for you inside your backpack hyuckkie. Can you please take it out and read it?”

Donghyuck’s hand immediately went to his backpack, opened it up and found the little folded paper at the bottom, under his notebooks. He took it out and read it while his heart was beating so hard against his chest. He was about to die and it was all thanks to his perfect as f boyfriend!

“A hundred and five is the number that comes to my head  
When I think of all the years I wanna be with you  
Wake up every morning with you in my bed  
That's precisely what I plan to do”

He gasped when he finished reading the note cause he knew the continues lyrics were “I'll say, "Will you marry me?" I swear that I will mean it”. He looked up mark with wide eyes and an open mouth and he could swear he died when mark asked, “will you marry me donghyuck?” with that sweet,sweet smile of him.

“Should I jump from that tree to there for you to say “yes”? cause you know I would” mark said when he didn’t get an answer for a while and donghyuck laughed cause he knew mark really would do that. He would do anything for him.

“Yes idiot, yes I will marry you and spend my whole entire life with someone so amazing like you.”

“Good” mark said before jumping to the classroom and pulling donghyuck into a kiss that made him lose his balance and held onto him tightly.

“Oooh he is sealing the deal” jaemin said while recording the whole thing and everyone was clapping behind him, kinda adding a nice effect to his art piece.

“Na jaemin are you recording this right now?” their teacher, who helped mark at his proposal asked and jaemin gulped down in worry “u-uhmm yes Mrs. Kim”

“Good. Send me a copy of it later.”

“U-uh yes Mrs.kim.”

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Donghyuck smiled when he felt strong arms around his waist hugging him gently and giggled when mark’s breathe tickled his neck.

“You look so beautiful, you look like an angel”

Mark said and donghyuck held onto the hands linked on his stomach “you look better”

“Impossible” mark whispered to his ear before pulling away just to turn donghyuck around, other’s hands on his shoulders, caressing his pure white tuxedo.

Donghyuck smiled wider when mark pulled out a small paper from his pocket and gave it to him, hands brushing on each other softly.

“Mesmerized by your beauty, from your feet to your hands  
How could one be so beautiful? I don't understand”

He pecked a kiss on mark’s cheek before giving him his own note;

“Heaven sent, God's gift without a doubt in my mind"

Mark smiled softly and pulled donghyuck closer.

“I love you so much”

“I love you more” donghyuck said and mark whispered “impossible” again before “sealing the deal” with his fiancée/soon to be husband.

________________________________________________________________________________________

Their wedding was not a huge fancy one like how everyone expected from donghyuck. It was a simple and small one but it was so perfect for them. They just invited their close friends and relatives and an underrated but so talented solo singer and just danced till no songs left and they were dancing under the moonlight beside the lake they loved to meet at.

“Mark”

“Hmm?” mark said without stopping dancing with his now husband to left and right in the rhythm that was playing in their hearts.

“It is real right?”

“Why are you asking?”

“It’s just…too good to be true. Everything is too perfect to be true and I’m…I’m so scared that it is just a dream and I will wake up one day and none of this will be real”

Mark took his hands and kissed them softly before cupping his face in his palms “it is real baby. As real as my love for you and you know my heart is beating for you.”

Donghyuck just closed his eyes and listened mark’s soft, reassuring voice in the silent night.

“I will never leave you donghyuck. I love you so much.”

Donghyuck smiled and squeezed mark’s hands. It was perfect but more important than that…it was real…and it was all donghyuck ever wanted in life. Holding mark that close and knowing that nothing will make them apart…

“I love you so much too”

It was perfect…so perfect…


	3. perfect (illusion)

He was gonna ask where is mark but someone suddenly jumped in front of the nurse and hugged him tightly. Donghyuck hugged back as tightly, knowing it could only be mark. But his smile dropped when the voice he heard was different than mark’s voice.

“I can’t believe you woke up hyuck. Like, holy shit man we had been waiting for months for you to wake up, you made all of us so scared.”

“jaemin?” donghyuck asked when he broke the hug and jaemin smiled widely at him “you missed me?”

He would say “I did” but he wondered where mark was more than he wanted to feed his best friend’s ego.

“Where is mark, nana?”

“Mark? Oh! He sent a message to you. A video message or something like that I guess. Here.” Jaemin said and gave his phone to donghyuck who unlocked it hurriedly and went to the messages part and clicked on the video that mark had sent.

“Hey donghyuck, uh your name is donghyuck right? Jaemin’s friend? Uh I heard you had an accident so I wanted to send a “hope you’ll get better soon” kinda message cause I see you around sometimes and honestly you look like such a nice guy. It’s such a pity that it happened to you man I’m sorry.” “say hi for me too babe” “koeun says hi too. She is my fiancé by the way. I don’t know if you know but we will marry when we graduate high school. Oh! You can come to the wedding too! If you want to I mean. And uhmm yeah that’s all. Hope you’ll get better soon. So Uh byeee.”

Donghyuck just kept looking at the phone screen even after it went to black and all he could see was his own reflection.

“Sorry for his awkwardness. He isn’t the best at talking with new people. And he didn’t know you went on coma he thought you just had a car accident so yeah sorry for his “uh”s and all” Jaemin said jokingly but his smile dropped when he saw donghyuck’s teary eyes.

“Donghyuck oh my god what happened? Are you okay?”

“M-mark is dating with koeun?”

Jaemin looked so confused but answered anyway “yeah. They had been dating since the first year of high school. I thought you knew? You were looking at their way whenever you saw them so I thought you were friends with them to be honest.”

Donghyuck never knew words could hurt him that bad, he didn’t knew he could hear his heart shattering into million pieces and bleeding till his whole chest is covered in blood…

Then he remembered…he remembered how he always admired mark from afar, he remembered how mark had always been so nice and kind to him but they never talked more than “hi”s and “good morning”s, he remembered how he watched mark giving his first kiss to koeun from behind a wall, he remembered how mark’s eyes shined so brightly when he looked at her and lastly he remembered how his eyes never shined like that when he looked at him…never…

“Okay you know what? I know what will make you feel better and bring the old sassy ass donghyuck back.” jaemin said while getting up from the bed and walked towards the CD player that was on the drawer next to it.

Before he put the CD in donghyuck caught the “donghyuck’s favorite songs” that was written on it and he held tight onto the bed sheets to not cry his heart out.

“I found your favorite song hyuckkie. Here, listen.” Jaemin said and pressed the button to play it.

And he did listen…with a bitter smile on his lips…cause oh…how could be so stupid to believe all the dreams he had no matter how real they felt…how could he keep loving someone who never been and never will be his…how…

"I'll go on loving you  
Don't ask me why

It's not the kind  
Of love I dream about  
But it's the kind  
That I can't live without"

Even though his bitter was still on his lips, his tears started flowing slowly. Because it was true. It was not the kind of love he dreamt about but it was the kind that he cannot live without. Even though it was killing him deeply on the inside every single day…he was going to keep loving mark cause he knew in his dreams they could be together…even though it was only in his dreams…

“Donghyuck you…you love mark don’t you?”

“so much” was the last thing he said before he kept listening the song and the song after that and the song after that, remembering the memories of him and mark that had never happened and choking on his love for him. but it was okay. It was okay. He was fine.

He was fine…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry if there is any grammar mistakes or any mistakes, i wrote it at 3am and i honestly cried while writing this sad ending :(


End file.
